khcollins

Scribing.

memoiric lore:

heart-filled and soulful records written with intent to shed, connect, heal, and grow.

  • The Ache of Safety.

    The Ache of Safety.

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    khcollins
    in

    I haven’t always…I haven’t always…I haven’t always…But I am now.I am now.I am. now. No one, and nothing, can prepare you for the pain of safety. It’s nearly impossible to prepare for something you’ve never known. Never experienced. I think people tried to warn me, tried to prepare me. But I was too busy and…

  • A Terrifying Strangeness.

    A Terrifying Strangeness.

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    khcollins
    in

    Full Moon in Scorpio Personal Musings. I have always been different. I don’t mean that in a fun way.  I have always been different, and it has always been hard. “Quirky,” is a term continually prescribed to my person. A gentle word used by adults to signify wrongness. A tepid way of telling me: “you…

  • I Fell In Love With Winter This Year.

    I Fell In Love With Winter This Year.

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    khcollins
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    Ode to an ending season. The view outside my window is magical.  The expansive box elder tree in our garden spreads up and out, sheltering our cozy home. Its branches reach and swell, weaving intricately. My window frames it perfectly.  Crisp white snow covers every branch, thick and thin, gnarled and straight. Tan leaves hang,…

  • Softening.

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    khcollins
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    I am the softest I have ever been. Once there was only hard angles, jagged edges. All claws and teeth, and spikes and bone. Gnashing away at the things I love,Showing regard with clenches and tugs.Yanking and ripping, and tearing and biting. I am the softest I have ever been. Once there was only peaks and spires,Now…

  • Lessening and Loosening.

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    khcollins
    in

    A time travel tale. (Please note: This was originally posted to substack on January 29, 2026, but I want it to live here too.) I recently read this amazing fucking essay by Doechii (read it here), and it got me thinking: If I could go back in time, when would I visit myself? Which version of…

  • The Truth Rests In My Body.

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    khcollins
    in

    to showthe worldall of me,i have to tell themabout you.i cannot speakin half-truthsanymore.i cannotlivehalf-way. Truth is infuriating. Rage-inducing, at times. How does the saying go? The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off? Well, I’m fucking pissed. I’ve been pissed for a long time. I was just exceptionally good at…

  • New Beginnings.

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    khcollins
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    “Beginning anew and starting over is not the same thing.” New beginnings are terrifying to me.  They demand, at the very least, vulnerability, faith, feeling, and risk — all qualities I praise out loud, yet internally seem to revile. Starting over, on the other hand, is a relative breeze. It demands nothing except momentary discomfort while…

  • Rock-a-stack.

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    khcollins
    in

    “Morality, if it is to remain or become morality, must be perpetually examined, cracked, changed, made new.”  – James Baldwin “As Much Truth As One Can Bear,” New York Times Book Review, January 14, 1962 I have been given a beautiful gift. It is a wonderful, amazing, nourishing, loving, and life changing gift. It is…

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